Top tips for preparing for the first day at school

Getting your twins, triplets or more ready for school

Starting school is a big step for any child, but when you have twins or triplets there’s a lot going on at once. At home it can be tempting to do things for them just to speed life up, or to let them rely on each other because it works. School is different though. There, your children will be expected to speak up, manage little tasks and spend time apart.

It helps to keep in mind that your children may not reach the same milestones at the same time. Prematurity, speaking more than one language at home, whether they are boys or girls, their month of birth, special needs or disability can all affect how they’re developing. Try not to compare them, even when everyone around you seems to be doing exactly that.

Instead, focus on who they are as individuals. Use each child’s name, offer eye contact and build in little moments of one-to-one time, such as reading a bedtime story or playing a quick game with just one child while the other(s) wait their turn. When you can, let one parent or carer take one child out while the other(s) stay at home with another trusted adult. Present them to friends and family as individuals, not as ‘the twins’ or ‘the triplets’.

Top tip: Teach your children how to correct people politely if someone mixes up their names or calls them ‘the twins’ rather than using their names.

Building confidence and independence before the first day

School life asks children to do plenty of things for themselves, so practising at home when you’re not in a rush can really help. Encourage your children to dress and undress, have a go at zips and buttons and put on their own shoes. Dressing up clothes and new school uniform are perfect for this and lots of praise goes a long way. Try to let each child do these tasks for themselves rather than stepping in or letting a more confident sibling do it for them.

You can teach simple independence skills in tiny everyday moments. Show each child how to go to the toilet, wipe themselves, wash and dry their hands and blow their nose. Notice their individual successes and progress and avoid saying things like “your sister can do it, why can’t you”, even if that’s what you feel.

School also expects children to look after their belongings. Labelling clothes, shoes and bags with names, initials, colours or small pictures can make this feel easier. Put their names on coat pegs, shelves and storage at home and talk about what belongs just to them and what is shared. Twins or triplets are often used to sharing everything, so they may need extra help to understand what is ‘mine’, what is ‘yours’ and what is ‘ours’. A regular tidy-up time helps them learn to put toys away and care for their things, rather than one child always being ‘the tidy one’.

Top tip: If one child struggles with a task, resist the urge to jump in straight away or let their sibling do it for them. Stay close, offer encouragement and give them time to work it out.

Everyday ways to practise school-ready skills at home

Social confidence is a big part of feeling settled at school. If your children attend preschool or nursery, you might want to speak to the staff about offering them the chance to spend some time apart from their siblings during the course of the day, to get used to how it feels. Talk together about what to expect at nursery or school and which adults are there to help. Roleplay simple situations like telling a teacher they are hungry, thirsty, feeling unwell or need the toilet, so they learn to ask an adult rather than relying on their sibling.

You can build confidence by encouraging your children to talk to trusted adults such as relatives and family friends, then gently supporting them to speak to less familiar adults, for example a shop assistant. Playdates with children that each of your children chooses help them develop new friendships. Turn-taking games and sharing, both with siblings and other children, support the idea of ‘I can play with other children as well as my twin/triplet’.

Language and listening skills also grow in everyday family life. Address each child individually when you offer choices: “Jess, would you like an apple or a banana? Thomas, what would you like?” Find chances to ask each child questions and give them simple instructions on their own, such as “please get your shoes from the hallway”. Use their name so they know you’re talking to them and give them time to answer so that more confident or more verbal children don’t always speak for everyone. Reading stories together, taking turns to talk and practising short bursts of sitting and listening all help build your children’s confidence.

Play is also where early learning happens. Offer chances for your children to enjoy activities together and separately. They might sometimes pick different toys or games from their sibling(s) and that’s fine. Count to ten together, spot colours and shapes and talk about big and small objects. Let them experiment with drawing, colouring and painting to build fine motor skills and, when they’re ready, explore letters or the ones in their own name. Reading with each child on their own now and then gives space for their individual pace and style of learning.

Trusting your instincts as your children start school

Routines and boundaries can make life smoother for everyone when school starts. Allow a bit of extra time in the morning so each child can get ready at their own speed. A consistent bedtime routine helps them arrive at school rested. Teaching road safety, practising holding hands near roads and praising safe walking helps them understand that their actions have consequences.

Try to describe the behaviour you want to see and notice it out loud when it happens, for example “Well done, Louis, you’re walking really sensibly on the pavement away from the road”. Praise each child individually so they know you’ve seen their efforts, even if their sibling isn’t quite there yet. Being organised the night before, with uniforms ready and bags packed, can take some pressure off everyone.

Most of all, remember that you know your children best. Twins, triplets or more will not always follow the same path and that’s completely normal. By giving them gentle opportunities to be independent, speak for themselves and practise little skills at home, you’re already helping them take a confident step into school life.