Top tips for improving your own sleep when you have twins

Why your sleep matters when you have twins

When you have twins, triplets or more, it can feel as if everyone else is sleeping except you. You’ve got more than one baby, you’re running on empty and you’re still expected to function like a human being the next day.

People might tell you to “nap when the baby naps”, but that’s not helpful when your babies seem to have agreed never to nap at the same time. This is a phase where emotions are high, sleep feels like a luxury and even simple tasks can feel overwhelming.

You can’t magic up long, peaceful nights, but small tweaks can make the broken sleep you do get feel more manageable. These ideas come from parents in the Twins Trust community who’ve been there, done the night feeds and made it through the fog of exhaustion.

What makes sleep so hard with twins, triplets or more

Caring for more than one baby at once means you rarely get to fully switch off. Just as you settle one baby, the other stirs. You finally lie down and someone needs a feed, a cuddle or a clean nappy. Your body and brain never quite get the message that it’s safe to rest.

You might also be juggling expressing, sterilising bottles, preparing feeds and trying to keep on top of the basics at home. Nights can feel like a long relay race with no clear finish line. On top of that, there’s the emotional load. You might feel guilty for resenting the broken nights or worry that you’re not doing enough. It’s completely understandable to feel this way.

Protecting your own sleep where you can isn’t selfish. It’s one of the ways you look after your babies and yourself.

Practical ways to protect your own sleep

Consider how and when you feed each baby at night

When one baby wakes, you can decide what works best for you in that moment. Some parents like to feed both babies at the same time so everyone settles together. Others prefer to feed one baby first, then move straight on to the next.

If one wakes first, you might choose to gently wake the second baby straight after you’ve finished feeding the first, so you can feed them too and then all try to settle again. Feeding your babies together or waking the second baby straight after can help keep the number of separate wake-ups to a minimum and gently guide them towards a similar rhythm over time.

If both babies wake at the same time, it can help to have what you need for a tandem feed ready, such as extra pillows or a twin feeding cushion. This can stop one baby waiting too long and keep the overall feed time as short as possible. If your babies were premature, they may not manage tandem feeds in the early days, but as they grow bigger and stronger many families find this becomes easier. You can read more in our ‘LINK - INF-039 how to bottle feed twins safely or if you are breastfeeding INF-038 Can you breast feed twins? Everything you need to know

Take clear roles at night

If you have a partner at home, try splitting the jobs so you both know what you’re doing. One of you might focus on feeding while the other does nappies, winding and settling your children back down. You may still both be up several times, but each wake up can be shorter and more focused, which helps you get back to sleep faster. This can work with both bottle feeding and breastfeeding, depending on what suits your family.

Create a simple night kit

Before you go to bed, set up a small night kit in your room so everything’s ready to grab. This might include nappies, wipes, muslins, a change mat, clean sleep suits and anything you need for feeding, whether that’s expressed milk, formula or snacks and water for you.

Keeping what you need within arm’s reach means fewer cold trips around the house and less time fully waking yourself up. The quicker you can meet everyone’s needs, the quicker you can all try to drift back off.

Try taking the night in shifts

If your babies will take a bottle and you have another adult at home, you could experiment with night shifts. One option is for one parent to go to bed straight after the evening feed and sleep for the first part of the night while the other does the early feeds, then swap around midnight. That way you both get at least one longer stretch.

Another approach is for one of you to be ‘on duty’ for most of the night while the other gets a full sleep, then swap the following night. It won’t suit every family, especially if you’re breastfeeding on demand, but it can be worth trying to see whether any version of shifts helps you feel more human.

Make your bedroom a calm sanctuary

Your room doesn’t need to be perfect, but a few small changes can make it more restful. Soft lighting, white noise or gentle instrumental music can help everyone settle after a feed. Although phones can be good company through the long nights they can also steel your sleep. Think about limiting access to them at night to prevent scrolling taking away precious sleep minutes.

Give each other the gift of extra sleep

If you can share feeding, one of the kindest things you can do for each other is to offer a proper lie-in or an afternoon nap now and then. Maybe one weekend morning is your partner’s ‘sleep morning’ and the next is yours, or one of you takes the babies out for a walk while the other sleeps. Even a single decent stretch of rest can make the week feel more manageable.

Get outside every day if you can

Many parents in our community say that getting some fresh air each day helps everyone sleep better. A simple walk around the block or a trip to the park can lift your mood, give your babies a change of scenery and gently tire you all out. Daylight also helps reset your body clock, which can make it easier to fall asleep when you finally get the chance.

Say yes to help and go to bed early

You don’t earn extra badges for doing everything alone. If someone offers to drop off a meal, do some washing up or cuddle the babies while you nap, consider saying yes. When your babies settle in the evening, it can also help to head to bed soon after they do. This is a short, intense season, and prioritising sleep over chores, television or messages might make tonight and tomorrow feel a little more doable.

Being kind to yourself

There’s no perfect way to do nights with twins, triplets or more. Every family finds its own rhythm and what works for one household might not suit another. The ideas above aren’t rules, just options you can try, tweak or ignore depending on your situation.

What matters most is remembering you’re not failing if you feel exhausted. You’re caring for more than one baby at once and that’s a huge physical and emotional task. Small changes such as thinking about when to wake the second baby for a feed, trying tandem feeds when it feels right, sharing roles at night, preparing a night kit and accepting help wherever possible can all add up to more rest for you.

This is a demanding chapter, but it won’t always be like this. For now, be as gentle with yourself as you are with your babies, lean on the support around you and remember that even a little extra sleep is worth protecting.