Support networks for LGBTQIA+ twin parents

Finding your people as an LGBTQIA+ parent of twins or triplets

Being a parent of twins, triplets or more can feel intense at the best of times. When you also identify as LGBTQIA+, there are extra layers to navigate. You might be dealing with assumptions about who the ‘real’ parent is, questions about how your children were conceived or forms that never seem to have space for your family set up.

Having support from people who understand both parts of your life can make a huge difference. It is not just about advice on sleep or feeding, it is about feeling seen. A knowing smile when you mention the fertility journey, a nod when you talk about coming out, a friend who does not blink at your children having two mums, two dads or a non-binary parent.

Support networks will look different for everyone. For some, it is a busy WhatsApp group that pings all day. For others, it is one local friend they meet for a coffee in the park. The important thing is that you feel safe, respected and able to show up as your whole self.

We have an online community (LINK) where we hope you can find others to share information and connect with.

What to look for in supportive communities

When you are already juggling feeds, naps and the logistics of getting two or three small people out of the house, the idea of finding a new group can feel like a lot. It can help to know what you are looking for before you start.

You might want spaces where LGBTQIA+ identities are clearly welcomed, not just quietly tolerated. That could be a group that mentions inclusive language in its description, uses a mix of family examples in its posts or makes a point of saying that all parents and carers are welcome.

Consider how people talk about families. Do they assume every family has one mum and one dad, or do they naturally include different set-ups when they chat about partners and home life? Do they use your name and pronouns correctly once they know them?

Practicalities matter too. For in-person groups, think about location, cost and whether the venue is accessible for a double buggy. Online spaces can be more flexible, especially if you live in a rural area or have limited energy for travelling.

You may also want a mix of support. A general twins group can be useful for practical tips, while a specific LGBTQIA+ parenting space can offer understanding around identity, discrimination or navigating services that are not always up-to-date.

Most of all, trust your instincts. If a group does not feel right, you are allowed to step back. You and your children deserve to be in spaces that feel kind and inclusive.

Resources for Parents, Nurseries, and Schools

• Stonewall – LGBTQIA+ family and education resources
• Just Like Us – Early years and school inclusion resources
• Early Years Alliance – Inclusive practice guidance
• Family Lives – Inclusive parenting advice