Top tips for first time grandparents of twins

Becoming a grandparent to twins, triplets or more

Hearing you’re going to be a grandparent is big news. Hearing you’re going to be a grandparent to twins, triplets or more can feel like that news times two (or three). Excitement often arrives hand in hand with shock, questions and a few 3am worries about how everyone will cope.

Multiple pregnancies are classed as higher risk than singleton pregnancies, so there are usually more scans, more hospital appointments and more midwives and consultants involved. Many mums expecting twins or more grow bigger sooner, feel more tired, and may find everyday tasks harder earlier in pregnancy. It’s also common for twins and triplets to arrive early, so the weeks around the birth can feel intense for everyone.

As a grandparent, you’re likely to be wondering what this means for your own life too. Your role really matters. Grandparents are often a key part of the support team for parents of twins, triplets or more, before and after the babies arrive.

What new parents need most from grandparents

In the early months, the most helpful support is often very practical. That might mean cooking a meal, doing a supermarket run, folding washing, or looking after older grandchildren while the parents rest or focus on feeding. An extra pair of hands can make the difference between just getting by and actually coping.

Lots of new parents find it hard to ask for help, so clear, gentle communication really helps. Rather than saying “Let me know if you need anything”, try “I can come on Tuesday morning – would you rather I cooked, did laundry or took the older one to the park?”

It’s also important to respect the parents’ wishes, even when you’d do things differently. Parenting advice, routines and safety guidance have changed since you had babies of your own. Reading up on multiple pregnancy and life with twins or more on the Twins Trust website, can help you understand the advice they’re following.

At the same time, looking after more than one baby is tiring for everyone, including you. Caring for twins, triplets or more can be physically demanding, especially as they become mobile toddlers. Being honest about what you can manage means you’re more likely to be able to help for years, not just weeks. Setting boundaries isn’t selfish; it protects your ability to be there.

Staying calm and organised also makes a big difference. Simple things like keeping spare nappies and clothes at your house, asking the parents to write down the babies’ routine, and making a note of medication doses and important phone numbers can help everyone feel more relaxed.

Different ways to be a supportive grandparent

Not all grandparents live round the corner, and not everyone can offer day-to-day childcare. You can still have a huge impact. Video calls, photos, voice notes, postcards and letters all help you build a relationship, even from far away. As the children grow, playing simple games over video or reading a bedtime story down the phone can become part of their routine.

Spending one-to-one time with each grandchild, when possible, really helps them grow as individuals. Twins, triplets or more share a birthday, but they don’t share a personality. Treating each child as their own person – with their own interests, talents and quirks – supports healthy development and confidence.

Grandparents can also be an important anchor for older siblings, who suddenly have to share attention with two or more babies at once. A trip to the park, baking together or a solo sleepover with you can help them still feel special and seen.

There are many ways to learn and feel supported in your role. Twins Trust offers information, booklets, online resources and courses such as Supporting New Parents of Multiples (LINK). You can speak to parents of multiples via our our helpline (LINK) or connect with peers in our online community (LINK) for grandparents of multiples.

Organisations such as Age UK and Family Lives also offer information and support for grandparents.

Looking after yourself while you look after them

Your love and support are incredibly valuable, but you’re not an endless source of energy. Being realistic about your health, time and other responsibilities means everyone knows where they stand. It’s absolutely fine to say, “I can do one full day a week,” or “I can stay for a few days after the birth, then I’ll need a break”.

Try to keep up with your own appointments, hobbies and rest as much as you can. Pacing yourself means you’re more likely to stay well enough to enjoy your grandchildren as they grow, not just survive the baby stage.

Being a grandparent to twins, triplets or more is a steep learning curve, even if you’ve raised children yourself. You’ll learn new routines, new equipment and sometimes new medical terms, often right alongside the parents. Staying flexible, open-minded and willing to learn helps everyone feel like you’re on the same team.

There will be tiring days, messy days and emotional days, but there will also be double (or triple) cuddles, shared jokes and memories you’ll treasure. Your steadiness, love and willingness to muck in are a wonderful gift to the whole family – and you really are part of the team.