How to cope with twins crying at the same time

Coping when your twins cry at the same time

Crying is one of the main ways your babies let you know they need something. It might be hunger, tiredness, a nappy change, feeling too hot or cold or simply wanting a cuddle. When you have twins, triplets or more, it can feel intense when more than one baby is crying at once. The noise, the urgency and the pressure to comfort everyone quickly can feel like a lot.

It is completely understandable to feel overwhelmed in those moments. You are not doing anything wrong and you are definitely not the only parent who finds this hard. No one can split themselves in two, so it is natural that one baby may need to wait while you settle the other.

If you are worried about how much or how often your babies are crying, or you feel something just does not seem right, you can always ask for help. Your health visitor, your GP or NHS 111 can offer reassurance and check there is no underlying illness or pain. Trust your instincts; you know your babies best.

Remember, you are allowed to look after yourself too. Taking a breath, slowing down your movements and speaking softly can help you feel calmer, which often helps your babies to calm down in time as well.

What crying can mean for your babies

In the early weeks, babies often cry a lot, even when they are well and loved and cared for. Research suggests that long spells of crying between around two and 12 weeks can be a normal part of development for many babies. Their brains and nervous systems are still maturing and they are getting used to life outside the womb.

You might notice that crying builds up towards the end of the day. Many babies are more unsettled in the late afternoon and evening, when they are tired and overstimulated. With twins this can easily mean both babies crying at the same time. It does not mean you are doing anything wrong; it is simply a tough part of the day.

You might hear about something called the Period of PURPLE Crying. It is a way of describing this phase. Crying often peaks in the second month then gradually eases between about three and five months. It can feel unexpected and appear without a clear reason. Sometimes babies seem to resist soothing, no matter what you try, and their face can look as if they are in pain even when they are not. Crying can feel very long lasting, sometimes for several hours a day, and it often happens more in the evening.

Understanding that this is a recognised pattern can be reassuring. It does not make the crying stop, but it can help you feel less alone and less worried that you are missing something important. If anything ever feels outside this pattern or your gut feeling says something is wrong, it is always ok to seek medical advice.

Ways to soothe two crying babies

When both babies are crying, it helps to start by choosing one baby to pick up first. You might go for the one who sounds more distressed, the one who has been waiting longer or simply alternate so it feels fair to you. While you hold one baby, keep the other close in a safe place, such as a cot and talk to them so they can hear your voice and know you are there.

Using a sling or baby carrier can be a real help. Wearing one baby against your chest leaves your hands free to comfort the other. You might rock them, offer a feed if it is time or gently jiggle a rocker or bouncer with your foot. Always follow sling safety guidelines so both you and your baby are comfortable and safe.

The pram can also be useful. Some babies settle when they are rocked or pushed, either round the house or outside for a short walk. You might put one baby in the pram while you hold the other or settle both together if that works for your family.

Some parents find dummies helpful. A dummy can be soothing for certain babies, especially when they want to suck for comfort rather than for food. Not all babies like them and that is fine too. You are allowed to try things and see what works for your babies and your lifestyle.

Soothing sounds can also help. Soft music, gentle singing, a calm voice or white noise designed for babies can be comforting. Keep any device at a safe distance and at a sensible volume. Sometimes the sound of your own voice, even if you are just humming or chatting about your day, is enough to help everyone feel a little calmer.

Finding support and confidence as you go

Caring for twins is demanding, especially during a crying phase. Planning ahead for the trickier parts of the day, such as early evening, can make things more manageable. If you can, ask a partner, friend or family member to be around at those times so you are not managing both babies alone.

Short breaks matter too. If you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed, it is ok to put both babies somewhere safe, like their cots, step into another room for a minute or two, take some deep breaths, then return. Looking after your own emotional wellbeing is part of looking after your babies.

Over time, you will start to recognise each baby’s individual cues and patterns. You will get a feel for their different cries and what usually helps. As you try out different settling ideas, you will build up a bank of strategies that suit your family. Little by little, you will know which ones to reach for first and dealing with both babies crying at once will start to feel more manageable.

As your babies grow, their crying will usually change too. Those urgent, desperate cries often become less frequent. They will gradually be more able to wait a short while while you help their sibling, accept a quick cuddle instead of a long rock or be distracted by a song or toy. You may still have noisy moments, but they will not always feel as intense as they do in the early weeks.

If you are ever worried about illness, pain or any change in your babies’ usual behaviour, you can contact your health visitor, your GP or NHS 111 for advice. You do not have to wait until things feel desperate before reaching out.

This phase of intense crying will not last forever. As you get to know your babies and your favourite strategies bed in, your confidence will grow. You are doing far more than you realise and your babies are lucky to have you.