As a parent, where can you access support to help your childrens with mental health challenges

Supporting the mental health of teenage twins and triplets

Raising twins, triplets or more through the teenage years can feel like a unique emotional rollercoaster. Alongside all the usual ups and downs of adolescence, your children may be dealing with strong comparisons, competition and questions about who they are as individuals.

You might notice one child struggling while another seems to race ahead, or that their bond feels both comforting and intense. It is natural to want to protect each child’s wellbeing while also nurturing their connection as siblings.

Knowing where to turn for support can make this stage feel more manageable. A mix of school-based help, NHS services, national charities, specialist therapists and self help resources can all play a part in supporting your teenagers’ mental health.

Key emotional challenges for teenage multiples

Multiples often grow up being seen as a pair or set, even when their personalities are very different. In the teenage years, this can lead to real tension between wanting independence and feeling very attached to a sibling. One may want to dress or behave differently, while the other prefers to stay similar.

Comparison is another common theme. Teachers, relatives and friends may still compare marks, behaviour or friendship groups. This can feed anxiety, low mood or a sense of not being the “confident one” or the “clever one”. When one child faces bullying or exclusion, the other may feel guilty, angry or stuck in the middle.

Twins and triplets do not always struggle at the same time. One teenager might develop anxiety, low mood or eating difficulties while their sibling seems outwardly fine. Parents can feel torn between giving extra attention to the child in crisis and making sure the others still feel seen and valued.

It can help to name these dynamics openly at home. Reminding your children that it is normal to feel differently from their sibling, to have separate interests and to reach milestones at different times can be very reassuring.

Many parents also find it useful to learn more about twin and triplet relationships. The work of Dr Joan Friedman, a psychotherapist who specialises in twin dynamics, explores issues such as comparison, independence and emotional imbalance between siblings. Her books and resources can help you understand what your teenagers may be experiencing and reassure you that these challenges are common.

Support pathways for teenage twins, triplets or more

Schools are often the first place to seek support. Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) can assess and support young people with moderate to severe mental health difficulties. Referrals usually come through a GP or school, although in some areas families can refer themselves.

Many schools now host Mental Health Support Teams (MHSTs) or Education Mental Health Practitioners (EMHPs). They offer early help for anxiety, low mood, emotional regulation and friendship difficulties. They may work with one child or see siblings separately so each can speak freely.

Almost all schools have a senior mental health lead who coordinates support and staff training. They can explain what is available in school, from pastoral care to wellbeing hubs, and how this can be tailored to each of your children. Whole school approaches, including peer support schemes, safe spaces and clear anti-bullying policies, are especially important when your children are dealing with comparison or identity worries.

Teenagers often value support they can access themselves. Services such as Childline (LINK) offer confidential calls, online chats and message boards where young people can talk about anything that is worrying them. YoungMinds (LINK) provides clear information, real life stories and guides for both teenagers and parents. Encouraging each of your children to explore these resources separately can give them a sense of privacy and control.

When you are considering therapy, it is common to wonder if your twins or triplets should be seen together or separately. Many practitioners prefer to see each teenager alone, so they can speak openly, and offer joint sessions only when it is helpful for the relationship. Counsellors and therapists provide a safe, regular space to explore feelings, anxiety, family dynamics and identity. Clinical psychologists may be involved if needs are more complex.

Creative therapists, such as art, music or drama therapists, can be especially helpful for teenagers who struggle to put feelings into words. Educational psychologists focus on learning, behaviour and emotional wellbeing at school, which can be useful if one child seems to be masking their anxiety or falling behind compared to their sibling.

Twins Trust’s helpline (LINK) provides free, confidential guidance from trained volunteers who understand multiple birth dynamics. The Professional Referral Service (PRS) (LINK) can connect families with therapists who have experience in sibling relationships, identity issues and adolescent challenges.

Some parents worry about approaching school when only one child is struggling. You might find it helpful to:

• Respect each teen’s privacy and agree together what can be shared
• Remind your children that support can be different for each sibling
• Keep communication open and approach school as a partnership

Helping your teenage multiples thrive together and apart

Supporting the mental health of twins, triplets or more is layered and sometimes demanding, but you do not have to manage it alone. Schools, NHS services, national helplines, therapists and specialist organisations like Twins Trust can all be part of your support network.

By listening carefully to each teenager, honouring their individuality and allowing them some separate space, you help them build confidence in who they are. At the same time, you can encourage a healthy, respectful bond between them that will carry into adult life.

With the right mix of support around your family, your teenage multiples can learn to manage their emotions, grow in independence and still feel securely connected to you and to each other.