Adapting routines as your twin babies grow

How routines change as your babies grow

When you have twins, triplets or more, routine is never one-size-fits-all. What works for a three-month-old will look very different from a routine for a 10-month-old. Routines need to grow and shift as your babies develop, sleep for longer stretches and become more active.

Every baby is different, even within the same pregnancy. One might be sleepy while another is alert and ready to play. If your babies were born prematurely, it usually helps to use their corrected age, rather than their birth age, when you think about routines and milestones.

Instead of aiming for a perfect schedule, it can be more helpful to think about broad patterns. These patterns will look different at each stage, from the newborn weeks through to them becoming toddlers.

What to consider as you adapt their routine

In the newborn or “fourth trimester” stage, your main focus is feeding often and building a close bond with each baby. Their body clocks are not developed yet, so sleep and wake times are mostly driven by hunger and other needs. A strict sleep routine usually is not realistic this early on.

You can gently help your babies learn the difference between day and night. During the day, keep rooms lighter, go outside for fresh air, talk to them and do not worry about normal household noise. At night, keep lights low, use a quiet voice and avoid playful interaction. Blackout blinds can also be useful.

These early weeks are demanding, especially if one parent returns to work. Some families feed one baby at a time, waking the next baby in turn. Others move towards feeding together once everyone is feeding well. You can try both and see what feels manageable for you.

Planning how you and your partner or support network will get rest makes a real difference. Some parents work in shifts, so one adult sleeps from early evening while the other responds to feeds, then they swap. Having nappies, muslins and bottles close to hand can shorten each night-time wake.

If your babies spent time in a neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) or special care baby unit (SCBU), you may already have a feeding pattern. It often helps to follow this at home, as long as it still suits your babies’ needs. The nurses on the ward can support you to plan how to transfer that routine.

Remember that newborns do not need a bath every day. You do not have to create a full bedtime routine yet. Using clear day and night cues is a strong foundation for later stages.

Different routine approaches at each stage

As your babies move into the three to six month stage, they usually stay awake a little longer between naps. You will see more smiles and interaction, as well as more time for play on the floor or under a baby gym. Many families find a simple pattern like “wake, feed, play, nap” helpful.

Feeding to sleep can sometimes lead to a strong feed-to-sleep association. If you offer a feed soon after your babies wake, they are more alert and can often take a fuller feed. Then you can use cuddles, songs or a short wind-down to help them towards their nap.

This is also a good age to introduce a gentle bedtime routine if you have not already. It does not need to be long or complicated. You might change them into sleep clothes, wash their faces, give a calm feed, read a very short story, then put them into their cots drowsy but awake and use the same goodnight phrase each evening.

From six to 12 months, many babies move towards three naps a day, then down to two. The late-afternoon nap can be tricky, so some families pop their babies in the buggy for a short walk. Putting your children into their cots awake helps them learn that this is a safe place to settle. You can still cuddle them first and put them down when they are relaxed and sleepy.

Self-soothing is a gradual skill. You might try gentle shushing and patting in the cot and think about where each cot is placed so you can reach more than one baby at a time. Some parents feel less anxious if one baby who struggles more with sleep moves into another room or in with them for a while. Constant white noise or soft lullabies can also help soften sudden sounds.

Introducing solids often starts in this six to 12-month window. You might begin with one meal about half an hour after a milk feed, at the calmest time of your day. By 12 months, many babies are eating three meals a day and have dropped some bottles. It is fine if not all your babies are ready to wean at the same time. You can start with one or two and bring the others in when they show signs of readiness. You may find our moving to solids course (LINK) helpful.

After 12 months, many toddlers have one longer nap in the early afternoon and three main meals. Night-time sleep can still be unsettled at times. If you feel stuck with sleep or behaviour our online courses can offer extra ideas and reassurance.

In simple terms, you can think of routines like this as your babies grow:

• Newborns: focus on frequent feeds, bonding and gentle day and night cues
• Three to six months: begin simple patterns such as wake, feed, play, nap
• Six to 12 months: move towards two or three naps, add mealtimes and encourage self-soothing
• 12 months plus: settle into toddler routines with three meals and one daytime nap

Building confidence in your changing routine

Life with twins, triplets or more can feel intense, especially in the newborn phase, but this stage does pass. Getting organised before your babies come home, accepting offers of help and using simple tools, such as a whiteboard to track feeds and nappies, can all make daily life easier.

Most of all, trust yourself. You know your children best. Get ideas from professionals by attending our expert drop-ins (LINK) and join our online communities (LINK) to get ideas from other parents, then adapt them to suit your family. Routines are there to support you, not to add pressure. With time, you will shape a flexible rhythm that works for you and your growing children.