From surrogacy to parenthood: Simon and Graeme's twin journey

For Simon and his husband Graeme, becoming parents to twins was a life-changing and fulfilling experience. "It is hectic, exhausting and challenging but just the most rewarding thing I have ever done. It is an absolute privilege to be a parent of twins," Simon shared. Their journey began when they welcomed twins Alexandra and Calder into the world via surrogacy in Canada, a path that brought its own set of joys and challenges.

Simon describes their children as “mini-me” versions of himself and Graeme. "Alexandra is feisty and a total diva. She has all of my best and worst qualities. She is a born performer and so inquisitive. Calder just really wants to know how things work and is fiercely independent. Both of them are very loving, polite and caring."

Parenting multiples has been an energetic and rewarding experience for the family, one that has been enriched by the support they’ve received from the wider community. Simon, now the Chair of Twins Trust, said the charity played a crucial role in their early days. "We got so much out of it. I wanted to give back to the charity and I wanted to say thank you," Simon said, underscoring the importance of support networks for families with multiples.

The surrogacy journey

Initially, Simon and Graeme explored adoption, but after a negative experience, they turned to surrogacy. "Fertility treatment took place in the USA, and working with a Canadian agency, they arranged the surrogacy," Simon explained. Two embryos were transferred. Their decision to pursue surrogacy led to the birth of their twins in June 2017 after several false alarms. The family spent six weeks in Canada, completing the necessary paperwork and securing the twins’ passports. "We were very lucky they were born healthy and we didn’t have any problems, but I know there are so many people out there who do not have that experience, like the people who experience a bereavement," Simon said.

Maintaining a connection with their surrogate

Since birth, Simon and Graeme have made sure that Alexandra and Calder maintain a strong connection with their surrogate, Meg, whom they affectionately call their "Tummy Mummy."

“Since birth, Alexandra and Calder have kept in touch with their surrogate. They send Mother’s Day cards and know her role in their story," Simon shared. This ongoing relationship is important for the family, especially as the children grow older and ask more questions about their origin. "As they’ve got older, they’ve asked lots more questions. We’ve always been really open and honest with them and share information with them at a level they understand," Simon explained. The children know they were born in Canada, have two dads, and understand their surrogate’s role in their lives.

Despite their openness, the children have occasionally encountered questions or challenges from others. "One of Calder’s friends said that two men can’t get married. I said to Calder that he knew it wasn’t right. They are quite robust about it," Simon said. The family remains committed to helping their children navigate these discussions, teaching them that they can challenge others’ misconceptions. "We have to continue to manage making sure they’ve got the support all the way through and they understand they can challenge other people about it," Simon added.

Giving back to the Twins Trust community

As a way of giving back to the charity that helped the family so much, Simon became a Trustee of Twins Trust in 2018 and later took on the role of Chair. "I am really proud of Twins Trust. Seeing what we can do for families in crisis and the support we can provide, and seeing the difference things like the Maternity Engagement Programme can have improving outcomes for people," Simon shared. His involvement with the charity has been deeply fulfilling, especially knowing the positive impact it has on families facing difficult situations, like bereavement or other challenges related to multiple births.

"I wanted to step up into the Chair role and help lead and support," Simon said, motivated by the powerful work Twins Trust does. "To see that we are doing something that really can help people and make things better, that’s the thing that made me want to step up into the Chair role and help lead and support."