Getting twins to sleep with routines, support and teamwork

For parents of multiples, sleep is often a major challenge. With twins, triplets, or more, parents face the daunting task of trying to establish sleep routines for multiple children at the same time. For Kate, mum to four children, including twin boys Oliver and Alexander, the struggle to get her babies to sleep was a battle she couldn’t fight alone. The early days were filled with exhaustion, as the constant cycle of feeding, soothing, and trying to keep the twins and their older siblings, James and Annabelle, on a healthy sleep schedule, seemed never-ending.

Kate's experience with sleep was not unusual for parents of multiples. “Sleep is so difficult with multiples because you’re doing everything twice, so it all takes twice as long,” she explained. She fed one baby at a time as she couldn’t tandem breastfeed, which led to severe sleep deprivation. For Kate, it was not just a physical challenge but a mental one, as the lack of sleep took its toll on her wellbeing.

Seeking help: Twins Trust and a sleep nanny

Realising that she needed support, Kate reached out to Twins Trust and benefited from the expertise of Gemma, from the In-home support team. Twins Trust provided her with more than just advice; we offered practical, hands-on support that helped restore some balance in Kate's life. The family had been gifted five sessions with a sleep nanny, which turned out to be a game-changer. The nanny would arrive when the twins woke up, helping with the feeding and soothing, which gave Kate much-needed time to rest.

“It helped us catch up on sleep,” Kate said, highlighting the importance of support during those difficult early days. The sleep nanny’s assistance not only allowed Kate to sleep but also provided invaluable guidance for managing the twins’ sleep schedules. The additional support meant that Kate and her husband, Phil, could tag-team at night, ensuring that one of them could always get some rest. The sessions were a lifeline during a time when every minute of sleep mattered.

The importance of routine

Despite the help, sleep didn’t come easily for the twins. Kate described how, as newborns, Oliver and Alexander were surprisingly sleepy, but as they reached six months old, the challenges intensified. Kate tried everything, from swaddling to rocking them to sleep, but nothing seemed to work consistently. It was then that Gemma returned, helping Kate get the twins onto a more structured sleep schedule. “She suggested being two steps ahead,” Kate recalled. At that point, Kate felt like she was always two steps behind, trying to keep up with the demands of her growing family. Gemma’s advice, along with her support, was a turning point in helping Kate find some stability in the twins’ sleep patterns.

However, the journey wasn’t without difficulty. Kate quickly learned that the advice she received wasn’t always a one-size-fits-all solution. “Do whatever works for you,” she said, offering advice to new parents of multiples. “You can listen to advice, but as a new mum you’re bombarded with it, and it can be overwhelming.” Every family is different, and what works for one may not work for another. This realisation helped Kate navigate the flood of advice from well-meaning friends and family and trust her own instincts as a mother.

Accepting help

Kate’s experience also underscored the importance of accepting help when it is offered. The support from Twins Trust, the sleep nanny, and her husband Phil was essential in getting through the toughest days. “Take support when it’s offered,” Kate recommended. “Sleep nannies are really good, and I’d suggest asking for that as a gift.” By being open to help, whether from professionals or loved ones, Kate was able to better manage the challenges of raising twins while caring for her older children.

In the end, Kate’s journey with sleep and her twins was about survival. She emphasised the importance of doing what works for your family, regardless of the well-intentioned advice from others. The road wasn’t easy, but with the support of Twins Trust and a strong family network, Kate learned how to manage the ups and downs of sleep routines.