Growing up as twins and finding independence

John and Paul have shared nearly every step of life together, from secondary school to adulthood, learning to balance their bond as twins with their own individuality. Starting secondary school at 11 was daunting. “We were separated into different classes and tutor groups as it was deemed best for us to learn and develop separately,” Paul recalled. Despite this, they were placed in the same school house, competing together in sports like rugby, athletics, and cross-country. Being identical twins drew plenty of attention, but they quickly adapted to the questions and curiosity. “When we were 15-years-old, we shared the same friendship group, largely due to our similar personalities and interests in sport,” Paul said.

Their academic paths aligned as well. “We developed very similar academic interests and eventually chose to study the same GCSE subjects. This decision benefitted us greatly, as we worked together to overcome challenging topics and competed against each other. This pattern continued into our A-levels where we had similar success,” John said. Rugby remained a passion. “We both played as centres and thrived because we trained together, motivated each other, and shared a drive to win,” John added. They soon realised being twins gave them a unique advantage socially, academically, and beyond.

University: balancing independence and connection

The next significant decision was university. “Before long we were deciding on universities which is typically a time when most twins separate. However, having established an ambition to eventually start our own business, we decided to study Business Management at Leeds University at 18,” John said. Although they remained at the same university, maintaining individuality was important. “We managed this by choosing separate accommodations in our first year and making a conscious effort to make friends and live independently,” Paul explained. Nonetheless, they still studied together, socialised with the same friends, and played rugby in the same team, striking a balance between independence and togetherness.

At 22, both graduated with undergraduate and master’s degrees in Business Management, aiming to pursue careers in management consulting. The challenge of maintaining individuality arose again when they started applying for graduate programmes. “We intended to take different paths and join different companies. By November 2021, one of us received an offer to one of our top choices at Capgemini Invent. Weeks later, the second one received an offer for the same position,” Paul said. Their reaction was mixed. “A combination of happiness to have both received a dream job offer but also a sense of – are we really about to work at the same company? However, the opportunity was too good for either of us to pass up on,” Paul added.

Managing expectations and competition

Despite the shared journey, they often faced pressure to perform similarly. “As twins who have taken very similar paths in life, there has always been a general expectation from ourselves and other people that we should perform similarly in everything we do. In the past, when one of us excelled in one area and the other appeared to be falling behind, we found this difficult to cope with,” Paul said. This pressure became particularly evident during their A-levels. “We studied the same subjects, had the same teachers, and sat in the same classes, meaning it was anticipated we would both achieve similar results. In the build-up to our exams, one of us started to outperform the other in our psychology practice exams. This meant that the other twin was subject to mocking from classmates and felt more pressure to improve,” John said. “Looking back, this additional stress could have been easily avoided if we accepted that we both had different strengths and that it was normal for twins to perform differently despite our identical nature,” Paul reflected.

Embracing individuality

Today, John and Paul fully embrace their individuality. “We understand that we both have varied skillsets which helps us to maintain our individuality. We were fortunate in life to have been born as twins and enjoy progressing in life together. This has largely worked in our favour and continues to benefit us,” John explained. They acknowledge that being twins has shaped their lives in unique ways, but it’s essential to respect each other’s individuality moving forward.

Looking back, they recognise that being identical twins comes with its challenges. “It is not something that many people can relate to or understand so it is important to take all perspectives with a pinch of salt. We are confident that in future we will take different paths but, in the meantime, it is both enjoyable and beneficial for us to share the same experiences,” Paul said. The bond they share continues to strengthen, as they work to maintain their connection while carving out their distinct paths in life.