Becoming a dad happened far earlier than Carl imagined when his twin boys arrived 13 weeks premature.
After the excitement of finding out he and his wife Becky were expecting not one but two babies, their journey took an unexpected turn with the early arrival of Stanley and Hayden.
Born on 21 April 2019, both weighing just 2lb, the twins began life in neonatal care. For Carl, the experience was overwhelming, so he felt compelled to share his story to help others. He describes himself as “an ordinary bloke who went through an extraordinary experience”.
After writing an online article, Carl decided to start a blog—and PremDad was born. Through his blog, Carl discovered a supportive online community, with parents praising his honesty and openness about life with premature twins.
Carl recalls: “We found out my wife, Becky, was pregnant in October 2018. We were really excited as we got married the year before and we were looking forward to having a family. We got pregnant quite quickly but my wife was in a bit of pain the first few weeks. It got really bad one night.”
A scan followed, and while the results were initially unclear, the sonographer had a surprise for the couple.
“The sonographer said ‘there’s a heartbeat’ and pointed to the screen and said ‘there’s another heartbeat’. It was a bit of a shock. We had a bit of a panic but then we were like ‘typical us’ and we had a laugh about it. Every time we do something, we do it the hard way.”
The couple began preparing their Scunthorpe home for the twins, expecting three more months before meeting their sons. But one evening, after a meal out, Becky woke Carl believing her waters had broken. “She was only 27 weeks pregnant and I was like ‘how?’”
They called the hospital and explained what was happening. Becky was having contractions, and Carl quickly packed the hospital bags.
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On arrival, they were told the twins were coming—and fast. There was no time to transfer to a hospital better equipped for premature twins.
“We were rushed into the delivery suite. At the time there were 20 people in the room and all the equipment. That was the one thing that struck me, how many people were in the room. They got Stanley out and they held him up and said he was a boy. I was shocked how small he was. He cried a little and was whisked away in an incubator.”
Hayden followed 50 minutes later and was also transferred to NICU.
Stanley and Hayden spent nine weeks in hospital before coming home. In 2020, Carl launched his blog, sharing his story and practical resources for parents. Friends began sharing his posts, saying it was refreshing to hear things from a dad’s perspective.
Carl says: “I realised I could probably help people by sharing my experiences. I found a growing community out there and as they read the blogs, I carried on writing.
“It’s helpful for other people going through the same experience. Dads have said that reading the blog has helped them. It’s great people are getting something from it. It’s okay to not be okay and that is the message I am trying to get across.”
You can read more of Carl’s story and advice at premdad.co.uk.
Dad to dad support for life with multiples
Feeling exhausted or overwhelmed? Twins Trust can connect you with a volunteer dad of twins, triplets or more for peer support via phone or email.
