Mums welcome twin girls after IVF journey

Rosie and Hayley always dreamed of having a family, and after getting married, buying a house, and adopting a dog, having children seemed like the next natural step.

"Hayley and I were together for a good few years. We did the whole 'let's get a dog,' 'get a house,' and 'get married.' We knew that we both really wanted children in the future, so we knew that was going to happen for us," Rosie shared.

As they explored different options for starting a family, they decided that IVF would be the best path. "Hayley wanted to carry a baby if possible. She's always had that maternal instinct and feeling. I've always known I wanted to have children, but I never felt comfortable with the idea of being pregnant. It worked nicely for us to know our roles in advance and how we wanted it to work," Rosie explained.

After saving for IVF, the couple began the process. "Looking at donors blew my mind. You go online and look at donor profiles like social media platforms. We wanted a donor with blonde hair and blue eyes like Hayley but that was quite hard to find," Rosie said. Eventually, they found the right donor and began the IVF process together.

The emotional rollercoaster of IVF

The couple’s IVF journey wasn’t easy. After egg collection, Rosie had a successful harvest, with seven good-quality embryos. However, their first pregnancy ended in miscarriage at eight weeks.

"We decided we would try again, and the second time around, it was very much a waiting game. We got to the 12-week scan and the baby wasn’t developing properly. We were told the baby wouldn't survive the pregnancy, so we had to terminate for medical reasons at 13 weeks," Rosie recalled. This loss was deeply traumatic for both of them. Determined to continue, they decided to try again with two embryos, hoping that at least one would take.

When both embryos took, Rosie was overjoyed. "I think I was probably one of the most relieved people in the world to be told we were having twins. I knew we could handle two," she said. Hayley’s pregnancy was closely monitored due to the previous losses, which brought its own set of anxieties. Parker and Riley were born on 13 June 2019 via a planned C-section at 38 weeks, both healthy, weighing around 7 pounds each.

Adjusting to life with twins

The birth was smooth, though Hayley faced a tough recovery after losing a significant amount of blood. "From the start, she struggled to get better," Rosie said. Despite this, Hayley was determined to breastfeed, but after 10 days, one of the twins was losing weight rapidly, so they switched to bottle feeding to help them gain weight. This was a big adjustment, but Rosie stepped in as the primary caregiver while Hayley continued to recover. "I did a lot of the nappy changing, picking up, and baths. Now the girls are older, we're very conscious that everything is 50/50."

Being two mums has been a positive experience for the family. "As far as the girls are concerned, they call me mumma and Hayley mummy," Rosie said. When the twins started nursery, it was their first experience of navigating the concept of having two mums. "It was the first time we had to navigate them having a mummy and mumma. But nursery talked to them about mummy and mumma. When they play with their dolls at home, I hear them say, 'you be the mummy and I'll be the daddy.' That’s also really nice. It’s them understanding families. Some have two daddies, some have a mummy and a daddy, some have two mummies," she added.

Looking forward

Rosie said it’s important that the girls understand their story. "They have two mummies, but they don't question it—they haven't yet, and that day will come. We tell them how special they are. We tell them we had someone special help us to create them. It was a big thing not to call the donor 'dad' for us. A donor and a dad are very different things," she explained. They’re careful to ensure their daughters know how loved and cherished they are, especially as they grow older and start asking more questions.

Life has certainly been busy for the family, especially after the arrival of their baby boy, Maddox, in June 2023. But Rosie and Hayley feel blessed to have their growing family. "Life is busy with twins and even more after the family had a baby boy," Rosie laughed. Through their ups and downs, the couple’s bond and their commitment to building a family together have helped make them stronger as parents and partners.